NAS Inc National Championships and America's Strongest Woman 2013

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward."

~Victor Kiam

A year ago, I stood in the parking lot of my gym, tears running down my face in between prowler runs. (I know sounds ridiculous)...  I had been following posts about Nationals that weekend, and was slightly upset at myself for not being there.  The day I competed in Reno this fall, I had decided I should wait another year to attend Nationals.  Being disappointed in my performance, I felt I still needed some solid time to train and get stronger.  Driving home however, I remembered the year before, the feeling I had in that parking lot.  Someone also said “Why not compete against the best, find out where you stand?”  I decided I would commit the time I had and compete at Nationals 2013 in Denison, Texas. 

Training was hell some days, but I had to make up time.  Focusing so much on the record breaker in Reno, I hadn’t put a lot of time into the events for Nationals.  I had about 6 training weeks.  Back to back event days, often at contest weight, I told myself I would show up without any regrets in my training.  I can say I learned more about strongman, myself, and training in the weeks prepping for Nationals than any other contest or event. 

My adventure to Denison, Texas started at 1:30am on Thursday, October 17.  My flight didn’t leave Boise until 6:00am but I couldn’t sleep.  I made myself breakfast at 2:00am, showered and got to the airport plenty early.  Of course my bags were searched….and after a slight struggle to get my bag at 50lbs, I made it.  I arrived at Dallas Love, rented the Ford Fiesta and headed to Denison.  It was a relief to just get there, get some food and groceries and settle in before the rules meeting.  I weighed in at 132lbs (light weight is 140 and <)

I don’t often feel very big, but in a room of 186 strongman/woman athletes, I’ve never felt so small J  They discussed the rules, some event changes and how the two contest days would be split up.  I was happy we would be in the first group starting at 10am Friday morning at Smitty’s Bar and Grill.  After weighting in line to check my yoke height, I got some more food, and tried to rest.

I was pretty nervous Friday morning, but anxious.  I was finally able to meet so many of the athletes I have been following for months and months on Facebook and training logs.  Once the first event kicked off I started to feel better and more comfortable. 

First Event: Axel Clean and Press Away (135lbs)
Confident in my pressing, I was thankful this was the first event.  We were somewhat on a slope… I was hoping to hit 15 reps, I had 13 in training.  But ended up tying for first with 11 reps (which actually is now a tied record with Stefanie Tropea).

Second Event: Frame Carry (400lbs)
I probably hated training this event more than any others.  I was able to move 380lbs but not far, so I was hoping for the best.  I picked up the frame, which fortunately didn’t feel too bad and actually came away with an event win. 

Third Event: Axle Deadlift (275lbs)
This was an event change.  We were supposed to do frame deadlifts with 550lbs, but due to a few of us being vertically challenged, they changed it to and axle deadlift.  Deadlifts not exactly being my strongest event, I was happy with 9 reps, a PR, but would set me way back in points.  Getting the deadlift suit on I have learned is far from easy, much less pulling in it.  After struggling to get out of it, I felt nauseous and tried to lay down and rest as much as possible for the last event.

Lucky pink chucks, signed by Robert Oberst :)

These things are impossible. Thank you ladies :)

Final Event on Day 1: Wheelbarrow Load and Carry (kegs from 150-175lbs) (I think J)
Three kegs were lined up at 75’, 50’, and 25’ feet. Load each one into the wheelbarrow and then push the wheelbarrow 75’ or as far as possible.  The kicker for me in this event, you only received points if the wheelbarrow moved. Since I failed at loading the 3^rd keg, I got a big goose egg for this event, killing my standings for top 3 after day 1.

I knew I would have to make up a ton of points day 2 to make my goal of placing top 5.

Day 2:
Event 1: Yoke (450lbs)
I love training yoke. I have gone up to 500lbs with the yoke in training, but I wasn’t sure how the BiggDogg yoke would vary from what I’m used to.  I told myself I would run with it.
I had my yoke height set too high (note for next time) and the front and back clanged the ground as I tried to move quickly.  I had to repick, but still finished with an event win with a little over 17 seconds.

Event 2: Press Medley
I was really looking forward to the press medley as pressing is a favorite… another event change, the dumbbell was increased to the 80lb BiggDogg circus db.  I have never used a circus db.  So I knew this would be a challenge.  I hit the first three implements, 125lb axle, 100lb keg, and 135lb log easily, probably in the first 30 seconds, but unfortunately I couldn’t lock out the db.  They didn’t use split time for this event, which was a downside for me, but that’s the way competing goes.

Last Event: Stone Carry and Load Over 48” Bar
I knew going into the last event I was probably in 5^th at best.  I lost too many points on the wheelbarrow event.  I was excited for the stones as I had never used a 200lb stone.  I carried and loaded the first (150lbs) and the second (175lbs) and lapped and carried the 200 to the bar.  I didn’t really time myself right, got in too big of a hurry and didn’t get the stone up high enough on my chest.  I missed the third stone.  I could barely walk after stones, my legs just kept shaking and giving out… crawled myself off the mat and cleaned off the tacky.

Headed to the Arnold Classic!

 I figured they would take top 3 athletes from my class to The Arnold Classic.  That night they announced the top 6 would get an invite.  I placed 5^th.  I was dancing around like a little kid.  My first Nationals and I qualified for the big show.

I have a lot of people to thank for their encouragement and support.  I have learned more about myself in training and competing than I ever expected and I encourage anyone to step out there and compete, even when you feel unprepared and afraid.  I know my weaknesses and I will hammer them in training up until the Arnold at the end of February.  I hear a lot of reasons why people didn’t place where they wanted to, or thought they deserved. Bottom line is I placed 5^th because of the weaknesses I have and lack of experience with some implements.  Not due to a judge not counting a rep, unfair rules, or event changes.  I will get stronger.  

I went into Nationals knowing I could do well at the pressing events.  I ended up winning two other events, so you just never know unless you show up!

Chad Smith, owner of Smitty's Bar and Grill
Thank you for hosting us!

Big thanks to Dione Wessels and her crew, a lot of people volunteered and worked harder than any athlete to make the event possible!

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."  

~Theodore Roosevelt 

Hupernikao: to be more than a conqueror, to gain a surpassing victory

“Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use.”~Carlos Castaneda

The first day I was introduced to strongman, I pressed a 100lb log and lifted an implement onto one power stair.  Since then, log pressing has been at the top of my list of favorites. A number of times I've been teased about never training without pressing, almost true I suppose….

I was first informed in January 2013 that Gary Montoya would be holding a record breaker in August. I should back up a bit…. A couple months prior I had finally hit 155lbs with the log for two reps.  Me being very naive and clueless to strongman in general (much less the details of current records) I was shocked to hear Jay say that that my press was probably close to the LW record. Sure enough, the record was 150lbs. When I heard I could have a chance at this record in August, it was all I could think about. I felt like I had plenty of time and felt I still hadn’t peaked.

To try to make a long story short I continued training throughout the spring. I competed at a contest near Boise in May. I missed 170 lbs with the log. I was discouraged, but knew I had work to do.  I ended up finishing the contest with 160 and was happy with my overall performance.  About the time of Easter and following this contest, I had a hard time finding a rhythm with my training.  It seemed every two weeks  I was somehow getting injured. I fell backwards with the log, smacking my face on the ground; dropping the bar on my face benching;  leading to 5 stitches across the top of my eye; smashing my fingers with a stone; to then smashing my toe with the car deadlift frame about 6 weeks before Reno. It seemed endless.  My 'adjusted' goal then became to make it to Reno in one piece!

                               

August arrived much sooner than I had hoped and I was a ball of nerves.  The week before the contest I couldn't even make a packing list without having so much anxiety I was shaking.  I ended up driving to Reno by myself, an opportunity to clear my head and focus.  My stomach was on fire, burning into my chest and my heart beating like crazy. It seems ridiculous to most I’m sure, to have that much anxiety over pressing a log. But I've come to realize, I have this fear of failing. The log was natural to me. I’ve hit 170 in training. I should be able to crush that record. But… it’s a different log, a different place, different people, and Lord I was nervous. January was the first time I had pressed 170, I didn't lock out again until about 3 weeks prior to Reno.

It was comforting to arrive to Reno, seeing familiar faces and a chance to see Ron Strahan break the conan wheel record and to have something else to focus on.  Good friends around reminding me to calm down have fun, and just ‘lift shit’.

That evening, I ate, stretched, ate more and actually slept like a rock.  Friday I stuffed down breakfast with Matt LeBlanc at IHop and headed to the contest.  It was an incredible experience being around the other athletes, the promoters and knowing I was where I was supposed to be.

My warm-up was fairly close to what I normally do prior to training.  Push presses in the rack, rolling, stretching, waiting for the platform to clear to start warming up with the log.  The log felt different of course than what I’m used to, wider handles, felt heavier than 92 lbs empty, and bigger I just took the 10-20 lb jumps up to 150.   I was nervous as hell so I took some advice and opened with 152, to release the doubt and stress and build some confidence.  I was so thankful for friends cheering, Gary Montoya reminding me I’d done it a hundred times, and to just press it.  Resting in between sets, I tried to stay calm, but also keep my adrenaline high.   My second lift pretty smooth and clean at 162 lbs.  Another short rest and the third and final press; a successful 167 to set the National Light Weight Log Clean and Press Record (previous record was 150 lbs).  Being able to relax and enjoy other setting records was somewhat numbing, Matt LeBlanc battling the dumbbell clean and press with Brian Tabor, and Leslie Burke Hofheins hitting a rack press recod of 185 lbs. Seemed like it had just been minutes when Mike Johnston said, “You’re up”, oh shit….I ran inside to warm up again for the log clean and press record. In training I would usually hit 8, re-clean it and finish around 11 reps. “Competitor ready, take your grip, lift” I pressed out 15, just missing 16 reps with one clean, 120 lbs in 60 seconds.  The previous record had been 9 reps.  After I caught my breath I was all smiles, excited to enjoy the rest of the weekend and face Saturdays contest with some confidence and weight off my shoulders.

(can't upload the video so here are the links to the record breaker videos):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_15sXhZ_Wc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJbbQIctvYE

I slept terribly and Saturday morning came too soon.  I felt like the Reno heat hit before 10am. It was a struggle. After the second event I felt drained.  My nervous system was shot and with so much stress put  into Friday, I was exhausted.   A few events I was definitely a bit disappointed in and missed first in the middle weight division by 1.5 points.  Most importantly, I definitely learned a lot about myself, about training, and about strongman. Gary did a fantastic job at organizing the contest, with the help of Jon Strongman Andersen and Mike Johnston, all of the competitors seemed to get a great amount of advice and enjoyable experience.

For months I have been going back and forth with the idea of Nationals.  I had decided after my humbling experience Saturday I wasn't going to go. I needed time, I needed more training more experience, and how on earth would I pay for $1,000 weekend anyway.

Until I was taking the long, lonely drive home to Boise, I decided, I have to go. I am supposed to be there. Regardless of the money, the lack of experience, I will get stronger by going. And that’s my goal in all of this. To get stronger.  Stronger in who I am physically and mentally.  I know I would regret not taking the chance to go to Nationals. Not going because of fear is exactly why I should go and am going. And bottom line, I love the sport. I love to train, and what nothing better to push your training than to compete against the best? 

 

Record Breaker Competitors

Strongman Jon Andersen

I know I say this every blog, but through strongman I have met the most amazing people. I am looking forward to connecting with them and meeting new friends in Texas.

It most certainly won’t be an easy road with Nationals in about 7 weeks.  But I will be there. Stronger than I am now. Doing what I love. This path, for me, has heart.

*Biggest thanks to Gary Montoya, NAS (Dione Wessles, Mike Johnston) and all of my training partners, friends and family for their support. Also, a shout out to Rae Chiropractic Center here in Boise and their efforts in keeping me in one piece :)

 Looking forward to breaking my own record in the future :)

Training partners! Miss you Jess!!!

Eat. Lift. And Remember to Breathe

Snake River Strongman Challenge  May 4, 2013 Nampa, Idaho

The last couple months of my training have been interesting to say the least. From two black eyes, 5 stitches, and smashing my hand with the stone, I was mostly hoping to come out of the Snake River Strongman Challenge injury free. Aside from the blonde mishaps, there were also a lot of good things as well.  About two weeks prior to the contest I finally humbled myself into asking for more help, mostly with nutrition and contest prep. I love learning about different thoughts of training and dieting, so I nagged Relentless Gym with endless questions and comments. Without this step, I knew I'd be cutting myself short in reaching both long and short term goals.  About four days after starting this new plan, I hit a PR with my deadlift, pulling 305. Not the smoothest deadlift, but a PR I was happy with. 

So back to the contest... so I decided to follow up afterwards because within two days following, a handful of people were asking me about strongman, where to train, and how to get started. It really hit me at the contest that not much more than a year ago I competed in my first contest. I am incredibly thankful for strongman and the difference it has made in my life, so promoting the sport is what its all about. If someone can learn about it from a small blog or video I post, cheers! My friend Kalle also mentioned a blog would be a good idea, thanks for the nudge. 

The contest was held outdoors at a local Crossfit gym in Nampa, Idaho. JoAnn Hagadorn was the promoter of the contest and did an amazing job running a fluid event.  We started with the competitors meeting, the head judge telling us what you can and can’t do…me trying as hard as I could to keep what little food I had in my stomach and to focus on what he was saying without my nerves getting the best of me.  I am still learning how to best warmup the day of a contest as well as eat throughout the day without getting sick. The first event is always a little sketchy.

Event 1: Last Man Standing Log Press

Women’s Light Weight started with 100lb log. Each press increased by 10lbs. Fail to lock out your press, you’re done. The first few presses were basically my warmup. Up to 150 felt good as I tried to ignore the sound system screeching mid press lol. At 160 I had to split and was a little shaky, but locked it out. 170 I missed. It’s my PR in training, but I didn’t get it when it mattered. My back was really tight with the clean and call me crazy but pressing outside in open space is very disorienting. So outside training begins J

Event 2: Farmers

LWW started with 110lb suitcase farmers in each hand. 15lbs were added after 25ft, once you drop, you are done. I went up to 170 in each hand and finished at 173.9'

Event 3: Tire Flip

I changed my shoes I don’t know how many times thinking the next event was the deadlift…nope tire. They had two tires going at the same time, moving things right along. The tire stood upright and once they said “flip”, I shoved the tire and just kind of zoned out and got in my awkward groove that works for me when it comes to a 450lb tire for 60 seconds. I think I got about 9 flips and won in distance by a short 4’.

Event 4: 18” Tire Deadlift, Reps for 60 seconds

Finally, the deadlift. I don’t think it was quite 18”, but didn’t matter too much. My blonde hair was obvious in this event as I pulled the first rep and stared at the judge like I was going to get another command. LOL, just go he yelled. Oh, shi* okay…just pull, down command, pull; down command, pull... Finished with 24 reps. A weird rush of both adrenaline and exhaustion hit you all at once. This is where I say, I absolutely love strongman :)

Event 5: Stone Over Bar (49”)

Stones. The last few contests, the stone event has not been my claim to fame. More like a fine line of punching a window and wanting to scream. August 2012 I zeroed the stone in Reno. In training I was getting better, but still the height of the bar was always a challenge and getting more than one rep just didn't happen. So, I tackied up, told my brother, “I’m not going to zero this *&%! stone.”  Again, very weird mindset you get into as people are screaming, the judge staring at the stopwatch, and hoping the stone will just cooperate this time. I finished with 4 reps. Had the 5^th up, but it turns out it’s a good idea to breathe and I got dizzy, stressed on time and dropped it. I wasn't even sure how many I had gotten I was so out of it. Once again, I love strongman J Roller coaster of emotions, but these are the best. Overcoming something that had knocked me down and felt so discouraged from in the past. 

My goal going into this contest to was to win each event. Some were close, but I did it. I won each event and more importantly I walked away learning more about myself and what I need to do to continue to improve.  Almost anyone in Strongman will tell you the best part about the sport is the people.  I've made the best friendships with people from all over the world.

My training will now focus on preparing for the Nevada Trucking Association Strongman Record Breaker in Reno, Nevada. Until then, I will keep working hard, dialing in my training, and remember to breathe as I can hear shouted at me almost in every video :) 

Deadlift Face :) 

I'm behind the tire on the left. Too small for Strongman? 

Tree Trunk Legs

This topic has been on my mind for awhile. Others have brought it to my attention as well through various writings, blogs, etc. In her article discussing socialization, Amy Wattles approaches the issue and begins a discussion of the stereotypes in strength training. 
*Check out her very well written article here:
http://articles.elitefts.com/features/columns/socialization-is-the-disability/

So, here we go....
You've all seen them. The endless fitness images our society has been bombarded with from shredded delts, vascular quads, rounded biceps, and flawlessly defined abs. All with a catchy, motivational phrase encouraging us all to outline our goals with the image of this perfect, sweaty, cut body molded into our minds. 

I'm not going to say that these images don't lead to a bit of motivation or hope. But I'm afraid they are also feeding into the extreme expectations of social media and our society. From The Biggest Loser to the 4% body fat billboards, we are overloaded with the utmost extremes. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if these images are encouraging anything but baggier clothes and more self doubt. These photos, in my mind, offer the idea that anyone and everyone can and should look lean and shredded, and more so, that it is healthy to look that way. Again, I'm not making claims of doubt that a lean look can't be achieved by anyone that sets their mind to it, if that is what you choose, great, but there is a long term effect to encouraging this image. 

I can only speak from my own experience.

In 2010 I earned my Pro Natural Bodybuilding card. I weighed in at 97 pounds, possibly around 5% body fat, give or take. Standing on stage was amazing feeling. (Aside from the fear of dropping the trophy weighting in my hands from complete weakness and dehydration.) I thought I'd never feel more accomplished. Working out and dieting for 7 weeks tested my heart and my mind more thank I can explain. I told myself and the number of people who doubted me, I was going to win. I had worked too hard not to. Looking back I see more and more times of being on the verge of losing it completely. Dropping a Tupperware of smelly food onto the floor, slamming the microwave door, shoving away the hand trying to help me off my arm. I know, sounds ridiculous, but I was falling apart. 

Me, my trophies, and my brother Jason.

But it wasn't necessarily then that I was at my weakest. It was probably the two years following, struggling with cutting weight again and trying to understand why my body refused to cooperate... A roller coaster began of endless cardio and very very unhealthy eating habits. Grossly unhealthy. I hated that my body cut so quickly and then all of a sudden hated me. I struggled and struggled trying to find my place. I felt discouraged and empty.

And then I found Strongman. Or I should say God blessed me with Strongman. I started to realize strength would come through daily challenges of physical exhaustion... Challenges I never imagined I would achieve. Not a breaking point of exhaustion from near starvation, but from knowing I pushed myself harder than every before and feeling like I can had put everything I had into training each day.

I should be honest, however, even with this new found passion of strength and motivation, I still get distracted by these images. There are times I still miss having "shredded" quads and fitting into a size 2 with a desire to look like the girl with perfect everything. Speaking of my legs, a friend recently described them as "tree trunk legs". When I first read that post, my stomach jumped into my throat. I was almost hurt, but I quickly told myself, Rachel, that is a compliment. Your legs are strong. I thought of how many times have I cringed hearing "I want to lift, but I don't want to get bulky." Time to change the image. There isn't a damn thing wrong with my legs. Skinny jeans aren't really that cute anyway. And I'm thankful for my legs, and more importantly my health.

It's all perspective. What defines you. What motivates you. What are you willing to sacrifice. My point is, I hope these images don't lead to a long road of emptiness, a false sense of self, and lack of any motivation. I'm learning how to embrace my strength  Regardless if my body fat isn't below 10%. Who I am is not defined by my pant size or even my current deadlift PR.

My strength and motivation comes from my faith, from God, being blessed with "tree trunk legs" and loving every minute of getting stronger. It's also not the images posted on Facebook and Pinterest that motivate me. It's the people training right by my side, yelling at me not to drop the yoke, the people reminding me its okay to take rest days, the ones messaging me "I believe in you". The people that I am so blessed to know and call my friends. And more than anything, my motivation comes from wanting to be the best me possible. A drive and passion not to fall short.

Whatever motivates you, know you're stronger than the images and expectations. Be strong. Believe in YOU. And be proud of Tree Trunk Legs and the little things that may bring any sort of self doubt. 

Follow my training at: 
 http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=rachel+pyron&oq=rachel+pyron&gs_l=youtube.3..35i39.2558.4334.0.4539.12.12.0.0.0.0.176.1349.4j8.12.0...0.0...1ac.1.wGzpaShIl2k

Looking Back... Moving Forward: Hupernikao

With the New Year approaching… the commercials, Facebook posts, gym adds, every type of social media surrounds us with the reminder of setting new resolutions.  A fan of the resolution fad or not, it will cross your mind as you swear to yourself this year will be different.  I like many others have failed to stick to a New Years Resolution for long, hell, by the time April arrives; I’ve forgotten what it even was. Until this last year anyway...

I recently looked through my journal… if you want to call it that, or my notebook of doodling, rambling, and jotting down favorite quotes; I found a list of goal lifts I wanted to hit in 2012. After starting strongman in October 2011, I was hooked. But, being the competitive person I am, I was frustrated with not excelling in each event quickly.  

Journaling 2012 Goals

We were all training for a contest in mid February, so our training focused on power stairs, log press, deadlifts, farmers, and sandbag carry and load. Needless to say I struggled in about all of the above. From my list as you can see, log, deadlifts, and power stairs were heavy on my mind. Getting 120lbs with the log clean and press was feeling impossible. A huge mental block. I knew I was strong enough to press it. The power stairs.  Just getting the implement up all three runs at all, much less finishing in less than 60 seconds was a feat. And deadlifts… oh deadlifts. My form was horrendous. I didn’t even touch the contest weight prior to because my back was not liking it at all. I have never been so nervous in my life the day of the contest. I was flooded with so many mixed emotions of both pride in how far I had come but also frustration in feeling like I wasn’t ready. At the contest, I didn't finish the power stairs, I made silly errors with the sandbag which I lost sleep over for weeks and I had no idea how to stay ‘warm’ through five+ hours of competing without completely wearing myself out.

Snowman Challenge; Farmers

But I was doing something I never imagined possible. And more than that, I was doing something I love. My parents were there cheering me on, my dad commenting on how other people were cheating bouncing the weight off the ground during deadlifts J, my brother even catching the sandbag event in the middle of his crazy day. My mom not having a clue what was going on, but they were there. I was there. I was overcoming a number of fears and self doubt… 

120lb Log Clean and not Press :)

165lb Log Clean and Press

That is only where it began.

As I look back throughout 2012:

*Log clean and press 165lbs

*300lb deadlift

*230lb squat

*175lb stone over bar

*power stairs, 42 seconds, yes, all three implements J

These are my own personal highlights of the year. Crazy to think back to my first weeks of training. The first time I pressed the log, or the first time I tried to pick up the stone, wondering ‘what on earth am I doing”. But I refused to give up…

Regardless of what your New Years Resolution will be for 2013. Write it down, even if its just doodling :)   Don’t forget what you are truly striving for. I am thankful for each day I am blessed with to grow and learn and that I have found something I am truly passionate about.

As I approach the challenges of 2013, I think of 'hupernikao': to be more than a conqueror, to gain a surpassing victory.

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

I’m looking forward to a great year of new challenges and achievements. What are you achievements from 2012? Best wishes to a safe and happy New Year!!!  

Enjoying the Journey

Northern Nevada's Strongest Man August 2012

Well after arguing with myself in my head about whether or not to start blogging... here I go :)

     A very good friend said something yesterday that really hit me. We were talking about strongman and how difficult it is or would be to be seriously injured and not be able to train for a length of time. 
I stated that if I were to get hurt, I would be an absolute mess. Training is what I look forward to pretty much more than anything. I love it. But my friend said, "You have to remember you are bigger than the sport. Who you are is not defined by the sport of strongman."
    Hearing him say this kind of made my gut twist. Not only the simpleness of what he said, but so powerful. I have been guilty of this for quite sometime. Looking into something else to define who I am. At least since I was involved in bodybuilding. Not getting on stage after winning my pro card made me feel empty. Like I was a total disappointment and failure to my trainer and anyone else close to me. After training so hard and doing well, I couldn't get the pieces put back together. My body wasn't clicking with dieting, I hated the thought of ever eating tilapia again, and I never felt good. But what will I do without it? Who am I without competing ? Without training?

NGA May 2010

   I guess I'm the type of person to want a challenge, to have a focus, a goal to achieve. Not to just willy-nilly a 30 minute cardio session, maybe followed up by a few crunches 4-5 days a week. No. I wanted to be achieving something bigger than that. Something that I thought was bigger than myself. 
     About a year ago I was blessed to be introduced to the sport of strongman. I had no idea what it even was or what I was getting myself in to. The first day I trained I was amazed I could press the 100lb log over my head and I lifted one power stair implement onto one platform. I was clueless, but something within me clicked and I was hooked. I continued to train and continued to love it but I still struggled with the fact that I still hadn't been back on stage. I committed to another bodybuilding contest and decided to let go of strongman training for awhile. I was leaning down, but not quickly and my calories were already so low, my trainer refused to starve me through weeks of hell and risk my health...

Well, I ended up taking a job and moving across the country. Long story short the months following, my life felt like I was getting flipped upside down and inside out. I won't even jump into all the details, but it was a mess. And not only could I not really train any strongman events, but I also kept injuring my back (which ill speak more of at a different time). 

     So I was lost. I couldn't train. I struggled with deciding if I was going to try to get enough stuff rounded up to for strongman, or just realize I was in over my head and should just go back to bodybuilding. There it was again. That emptiness. Nothing to focus on. Feeling as I only continued to fail and needed to do something, anything to find that fulfillment. Along with my long story, I ended up moving back to Boise. The day I got back I went to Genesis to train strongman. This is what I wanted to do. I thought about strongman and training with the crew again the entire 29 hours of driving back to Idaho. Besides being with my family again, it was the only thing that didn't cause tears to pour down my face. 

     Even though I felt somewhat foolish for thinking I could ever be competitive in a sport against women that outweighed me by numerous pounds and had far more strength and experience, I knew I had to try. Not to prove anything. Not to show that I wasn't a failure. Not because I felt like I couldn't compete any longer in bodybuilding. But because I loved strongman. I loved to challenge my body and my mind. I loved the feeling of pure exhaustion after a day of event training. I loved the camaraderie of training with a crew and screaming at each other not to give up. 

     But something that seems to happen when you gain a really strong passion for something, you forget who you are outside of that. I love strongman. But strongman doesn't define me. Fitness doesn't define me. A certain weight or measurement doesn't define me. A PR doesn't define me. 
I was reminded today that I don't train in search of something bigger than myself, but I train because I'm bigger than all of it. I'm bigger than all of the doubt and confusion. Bigger than the fear of failure and disappointment. I am strong and I have found something that I love. I am very blessed to challenge myself daily through training and the many lessons it has taught me. I am learning to believe in myself and enjoy this crazy journey. 



Cheers to an end of an unforgettable 2012, and to the amazing things coming in 2013. 
-GetStrongerRP