Looking Back... Moving Forward: Hupernikao

With the New Year approaching… the commercials, Facebook posts, gym adds, every type of social media surrounds us with the reminder of setting new resolutions.  A fan of the resolution fad or not, it will cross your mind as you swear to yourself this year will be different.  I like many others have failed to stick to a New Years Resolution for long, hell, by the time April arrives; I’ve forgotten what it even was. Until this last year anyway...

I recently looked through my journal… if you want to call it that, or my notebook of doodling, rambling, and jotting down favorite quotes; I found a list of goal lifts I wanted to hit in 2012. After starting strongman in October 2011, I was hooked. But, being the competitive person I am, I was frustrated with not excelling in each event quickly.  

Journaling 2012 Goals

We were all training for a contest in mid February, so our training focused on power stairs, log press, deadlifts, farmers, and sandbag carry and load. Needless to say I struggled in about all of the above. From my list as you can see, log, deadlifts, and power stairs were heavy on my mind. Getting 120lbs with the log clean and press was feeling impossible. A huge mental block. I knew I was strong enough to press it. The power stairs.  Just getting the implement up all three runs at all, much less finishing in less than 60 seconds was a feat. And deadlifts… oh deadlifts. My form was horrendous. I didn’t even touch the contest weight prior to because my back was not liking it at all. I have never been so nervous in my life the day of the contest. I was flooded with so many mixed emotions of both pride in how far I had come but also frustration in feeling like I wasn’t ready. At the contest, I didn't finish the power stairs, I made silly errors with the sandbag which I lost sleep over for weeks and I had no idea how to stay ‘warm’ through five+ hours of competing without completely wearing myself out.

Snowman Challenge; Farmers

But I was doing something I never imagined possible. And more than that, I was doing something I love. My parents were there cheering me on, my dad commenting on how other people were cheating bouncing the weight off the ground during deadlifts J, my brother even catching the sandbag event in the middle of his crazy day. My mom not having a clue what was going on, but they were there. I was there. I was overcoming a number of fears and self doubt… 

120lb Log Clean and not Press :)

165lb Log Clean and Press

That is only where it began.

As I look back throughout 2012:

*Log clean and press 165lbs

*300lb deadlift

*230lb squat

*175lb stone over bar

*power stairs, 42 seconds, yes, all three implements J

These are my own personal highlights of the year. Crazy to think back to my first weeks of training. The first time I pressed the log, or the first time I tried to pick up the stone, wondering ‘what on earth am I doing”. But I refused to give up…

Regardless of what your New Years Resolution will be for 2013. Write it down, even if its just doodling :)   Don’t forget what you are truly striving for. I am thankful for each day I am blessed with to grow and learn and that I have found something I am truly passionate about.

As I approach the challenges of 2013, I think of 'hupernikao': to be more than a conqueror, to gain a surpassing victory.

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

I’m looking forward to a great year of new challenges and achievements. What are you achievements from 2012? Best wishes to a safe and happy New Year!!!  

Enjoying the Journey

Northern Nevada's Strongest Man August 2012

Well after arguing with myself in my head about whether or not to start blogging... here I go :)

     A very good friend said something yesterday that really hit me. We were talking about strongman and how difficult it is or would be to be seriously injured and not be able to train for a length of time. 
I stated that if I were to get hurt, I would be an absolute mess. Training is what I look forward to pretty much more than anything. I love it. But my friend said, "You have to remember you are bigger than the sport. Who you are is not defined by the sport of strongman."
    Hearing him say this kind of made my gut twist. Not only the simpleness of what he said, but so powerful. I have been guilty of this for quite sometime. Looking into something else to define who I am. At least since I was involved in bodybuilding. Not getting on stage after winning my pro card made me feel empty. Like I was a total disappointment and failure to my trainer and anyone else close to me. After training so hard and doing well, I couldn't get the pieces put back together. My body wasn't clicking with dieting, I hated the thought of ever eating tilapia again, and I never felt good. But what will I do without it? Who am I without competing ? Without training?

NGA May 2010

   I guess I'm the type of person to want a challenge, to have a focus, a goal to achieve. Not to just willy-nilly a 30 minute cardio session, maybe followed up by a few crunches 4-5 days a week. No. I wanted to be achieving something bigger than that. Something that I thought was bigger than myself. 
     About a year ago I was blessed to be introduced to the sport of strongman. I had no idea what it even was or what I was getting myself in to. The first day I trained I was amazed I could press the 100lb log over my head and I lifted one power stair implement onto one platform. I was clueless, but something within me clicked and I was hooked. I continued to train and continued to love it but I still struggled with the fact that I still hadn't been back on stage. I committed to another bodybuilding contest and decided to let go of strongman training for awhile. I was leaning down, but not quickly and my calories were already so low, my trainer refused to starve me through weeks of hell and risk my health...

Well, I ended up taking a job and moving across the country. Long story short the months following, my life felt like I was getting flipped upside down and inside out. I won't even jump into all the details, but it was a mess. And not only could I not really train any strongman events, but I also kept injuring my back (which ill speak more of at a different time). 

     So I was lost. I couldn't train. I struggled with deciding if I was going to try to get enough stuff rounded up to for strongman, or just realize I was in over my head and should just go back to bodybuilding. There it was again. That emptiness. Nothing to focus on. Feeling as I only continued to fail and needed to do something, anything to find that fulfillment. Along with my long story, I ended up moving back to Boise. The day I got back I went to Genesis to train strongman. This is what I wanted to do. I thought about strongman and training with the crew again the entire 29 hours of driving back to Idaho. Besides being with my family again, it was the only thing that didn't cause tears to pour down my face. 

     Even though I felt somewhat foolish for thinking I could ever be competitive in a sport against women that outweighed me by numerous pounds and had far more strength and experience, I knew I had to try. Not to prove anything. Not to show that I wasn't a failure. Not because I felt like I couldn't compete any longer in bodybuilding. But because I loved strongman. I loved to challenge my body and my mind. I loved the feeling of pure exhaustion after a day of event training. I loved the camaraderie of training with a crew and screaming at each other not to give up. 

     But something that seems to happen when you gain a really strong passion for something, you forget who you are outside of that. I love strongman. But strongman doesn't define me. Fitness doesn't define me. A certain weight or measurement doesn't define me. A PR doesn't define me. 
I was reminded today that I don't train in search of something bigger than myself, but I train because I'm bigger than all of it. I'm bigger than all of the doubt and confusion. Bigger than the fear of failure and disappointment. I am strong and I have found something that I love. I am very blessed to challenge myself daily through training and the many lessons it has taught me. I am learning to believe in myself and enjoy this crazy journey. 



Cheers to an end of an unforgettable 2012, and to the amazing things coming in 2013. 
-GetStrongerRP